My Journey with CAFFEINE

37 Days and Counting! Caffeine- who needs it!
About 6 weeks ago I started this journey. First came the question, "Is reliance on caffeine (AKA: Caffeine Addiction) a problem for me?" I already knew it was. I was under the belief that I COULD NOT properly function in the mornings without caffeine. For years (starting around 10 years ago), I justified my addiction because my caffeine was "healthy". I am not a coffee drinker, do not like tea, dislike energy drinks even more. My caffeine was packaged in a tasty vitamin infused powder drink mix. It came from a company known for selling nutrition, weight-loss, energy and sports performance products. It tasted great. I craved it. It gave me noticeable energy, and even mental clarity. "This is a good thing" I convinced myself. The results seemed good. No wonder its called SPARK. My mornings started, without fail, with my caffeine/vitamin elixir. Don't ask me serious questions, don't make me recall where your belt is, don't ask my schedule, and certainly don't expect any tasks to be completed.....until I got my Spark Drink! It was a must. It was "necessary". I can't function without it. There's no way I will ever want to give it up.

Fast forward 5 or so years (and many, many dollars later). I'm older, I'm tired, my kids are older, my budget is tighter. I don't want to spend the bookoo bucks to get this stuff anymore....but I NEED IT! Why doesn't this spark seem to work so well anymore? Could it have lost its effectiveness? What would I do if I didn't have any left? Sure hope I don't ever get to that point. Oh well, gulp gulp....Ahhhh! Good morning!

Sometimes my weeks looked like this:

Monday: Monday's aren't that bad. Just drink a full spark. No big deal. Dear God, help me find time to add fitness to my schedule.

Tuesday: My spark tub is pretty light. Hmm? I better conserve and make smaller portions. I'd hate to run out, those are impossible days when that's happened. Wow am I thankful for this stuff, right! Dear God, I need to find a way to lose some weight. Can you help me with that?

Wednesday: Take just a half spark. Remember to order that later today. Pretty cloudy head today.....must need more spark. Dear God, I want to rely on you for my strength today. Help me see how to better do that.

Thursday: Oh, Blast! Forgot to order spark. Must do that now. Just have another half portion. I can get through another day like that...maybe two. But that's the limit. I need more spark. Dear God, can you show me ways I am not relying on You. I want to live each day to the fullest. Show me what I need to replace.

Friday: Drink the last little bit of spark I have left. Good thing I ordered more. I so regret I didn't get to exercise this week. Where does the time go? This weekend I will have more time. Hope the spark doesn't get delivered late. Dear God, I give you today. Thanks for showing me I could replace screen time with exercise. I will start doing that next week.

Saturday: No spark? No spark! What? I have to wait until Monday now. This weekend is the worst. I'm not doing a thing I don't absolutely have to do. Paperwork can wait, even most of the housework can wait. This is gonna be rough. Dear Go..Phone Rings. It's an old school friend. Always great to catch up. Remember in 10th grade when blah blah blah? That sure triggered memories. One teacher at our Christian school used to have a pot of coffee a day, and she told us so. Not so sure that was such a good thing....she was totally addicted. Huh? I'm not that bad....right?

Sunday: no spark. get ready for church. tired. Show up for church but left the fruit of the Spirit behind. Not my best morning. I am gonna need something...Why is this happening? Message at church was good! God gives believers all we need for victory. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Submitting all you are to God results in promises fulfilled and blessing. God has the power to cut sin out of your life. What sin should be cut from your life? If you rely on any power other than God, it is idolatry.

Fast forward another 2 years. March 2014. Dear God, Can you help me lose weight? I have sensed you drawing me closer to you. Show me what to do.
There was a moment of alertness during prayer time. How can I ask God for help, when I haven't really been relying on Him and His power to sustain me? I ask for help. After all, I remember the verse, "You have not because you ask not." So I ask. But I was so convicted that it was only words. I was not relying on God to empower me, but myself. Actually I relied on caffeine to "get me through" the day and any exercise I found time for. How can I rely on a substance but ask God to help sustain me? I CAN'T. Not anymore. That's what I need to replace. For daily strength (my daily bread) I was not relying on God. The caffeine has to go. This was my personal conviction based on my past choices and priorities. I decided at first to fast. Give up caffeine and replace it with quiet time with God. Seeking other ways He may not have all of me. Surrender. it. all.
The first couple days was as expected. Tired. Irritable. Craving. Day 4-5? Horrific. I was having withdrawal symptoms. Oh my word! I was so addicted to caffeine. Headaches like never before, extreme fatigue...I felt like I was getting the flu. Experiencing that was so convicting. It was consequence in my face. Add to that a radio message I heard about Christians shouldn't be going thru life just surviving. We should be THRIVING in our daily walk, despite our circumstances. Day 6-7 I confess I did backslide. I thought, well, "I will give up 'morning caffeine'. That just proves I am making progress, right? I noticed on the days that I would have caffeine (in the form of afternoon Pepsi) that I would wake up the next day even more tired. WHAT? I quickly realized my reliance on it was still wrong. I asked God to help me, this time truly relying on His strength. First week down. Woe!

Day by day, my mornings started to change. I woke feeling alert. Awake; not groggy. And I woke early! I was naturally feeling better without my caffeine. I didn't expect that! I was surprised. I thanked God for that gift and for spurring me to continue.
Today I am 37 days into this journey. I am 30 days without caffeine. It has gone quickly....something else I didn't expect. I know this is the step God wanted me to take, and the next step will be just as fulfilling.....If I rely on Him!

I would love to read any comments.
Make today count for eternity; live for One.