A Letter To My Son As He Goes Off To College

Dear Son,                                                                                                                                           

YOU GOT THIS!  Your first night at College!  Can you believe it?  Life has come to this point and you worked hard to earn it!  Congrats doesn’t even cover it, right?!  It is a Huge deal because Dad and I never got where you are.  You’re you and you are unique. That is cool. Buuuutttttt, it is not the climax of your life, nor the end and it’s not all important in the big scheme of things, really. The next few years are gonna fly by. But College is where you are right now, so give it your all!  Have fun learning cool things.  Not all of it will be cool or fun, but give it your best.  Try new things.  Meet new people.  Talk to strangers (Haha) and Make friends.  Some friends will just be for fun.  Some will be professors and very helpful.  Some will be lifelong and you can talk about anything with.  Some will be forgotten.  It is a fact.  But you be you!  I know it’s cliché, but YOU BE YOU!  We love the You you are!

We love who you are, the way you are, and who you’re becoming…..everyday…..no matter what.  Even if you incorrectly think you don’t deserve it, we love you.  Even when you do nothing, we love you. We love you no matter what.  There may be moments when we feel extreme pride over your ability to do something awesomely, or moments when we wish you had chosen differently.  But we won’t love you less…..ever.  I’d like to think we couldn’t love you more that we do already.  But I am not God nor do we love perfectly like God.  But we love you and always always will. In fact, we are ever grateful that we have the opportunity to love you!

You are a gift.  We prayed for your arrival into our lives.  God could have had other plans, but He gave you into our family.  He planned you to be a part of our story and our lives.  He purposed your life to begin and for you to be born exactly when you were because it was part of His design.  It was on purpose you were our child.  It was for a reason.  Some of which you are yet to discover.  Some I hope you can see already.  He planned you, He knew you, He formed you, He loved you, He desired you to know Him, He chose you, and He will always love and pursue you. The God of all creation makes no mistakes, and He won’t ever make any. He loves you perfectly.  Will never love you less and cannot love you more no matter what.  His love is Agape love which means it goes beyond emotion, beyond circumstance, beyond feelings.  It is a covenant love of a perfect Creator for His Creation, YOU!

God’s purpose for you is eternal, and it is also daily.  Every day God is working in the details of your life.   His purpose might be hard to understand.  After all, if He’s in charge of every little detail, then why do so many difficult things happen? Because while He is over all and in charge of the ultimate universe, He doesn’t TAKE charge of you or your life.  The same goes for every human.  He won’t force anyone to choose Him or to choose right or to choose good.  This is why there is evil, suffering, difficulties, disasters, crime and death.  (And mosquitos and annoying drivers J) 

All Mankind gets the gift to choose God. Many do not.  This is the consequence of sin in the world and creates havoc of many lives.  My utmost desire is for you to choose God! Choose His Way.  The entire Bible is the true story of God giving perfect love and man rejecting it time and time again.  The greats, the ones who accomplished momentous feats, the ones humans consider the Saints or the Heroes of history were those who recognized God is Sovereign and they accepted His Way. Don’t reject the truth.  Don’t miss this, Son. 

God’s purpose for your being on earth is summed up in one verse I like from  Micah 6:8.  He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what he requires of you…To act justly.  To love mercy.  And to walk humbly with your God. Where you go to school, where you work, where you live….these are trivial.  Though up to this point have been major decisions in your young life.  The real stuff, the major platform you should practice everyday, and that truly matters as a man on this planet is HOW YOU ACT TOWARDS EVERYONE ELSE on this planet.  If you become a scientist, so be it.  If you live in Alabama or Quebec or Montenegro, so be it. If you become bed-ridden, so be it.   The road you take to get from here to there doesn’t define you. The destination doesn’t even define you.  (Unless you find yourself in Heaven) The journey will influence you but it isn’t you.  All that really counts is how you treat others, namely God and man.  These are the defining decisions you will face.

The 10 Commandments are summed up in a simple outline:  How you relate to God and How you relate to others.  These are the keys to the good life. I know it’s not that simple, so God is there for the everyday too.  He gives us each other to help us with the practical stuff.  And he puts us in the middle of sometimes hard stuff because He sees the bigger picture.  He sees who needs your perspective, your experiences, your sympathy, your encouragement, and sometimes your forgiveness. Any you’ll need theirs too. 

College is about discovering yourself, they say.  It’s about learning who you really are.   But no campus can define that for you, no community can create you anew.  Only God can and did that!  You are who God says you are and if there’s doubt about who that is, seek Him.  Read His love letter to you.  Read the manual.  And seek godly advice when the manual needs interpreting! 

Don’t fear failure. Learn from mistakes.  In fact, make lots of mistakes and then you’ll learn how to do it the right way next time.  Don’t be afraid to ask when you don’t know.  No one I know knows everything, but there’s always a solution out there.  You just haven’t found it yet.  The next person you ask may have a solution you hadn’t considered yet!  And remember, Ask or the answer is always going to be “No”!

And when the situation is just so very difficult.  When it is foggy and you can’t see the way.  If you’re in need of clarity to light the way because life is tough right now, what will you do?  Will you shake your fist towards heaven and kick and scream?  Will you mumble under your breath and complain that this isn’t fun or fair or what you wanted or what you agreed to….You may want to. Will you give up the fight and say forget about everyone else?  Will you decide you are number 1 and nothing else matters?  Because that decision will have to be made, maybe often.  Decide this day whom you will serve!

Remember, men were not born perfect and Godly men weren’t made in a day.  It was the result of daily choices and leaning on God’s strength and living with a purpose. It’s about getting back up and turning around when you mistakenly chose the wrong path.  This life is about God and others.  It’s not about us.  It’s really not.  For God it is, but we are not God so we need His help to become who we are meant to be.  It is a process and a journey.  It is the big picture and we are but a dot.  You are one of our favorite dots, Bud!  We are so thankful to know you and help you in this lifetime.  A parent’s legacy is to be able to help their children long after life on earth ends. Our wish is that you remember what you learned from us and that it somehow helps you on your journey to follow after God.

  Your adult life is just starting but so is your own legacy.  Everyone you meet you will rub.  I hope you can learn to be soft when it’s needed and tough when it’s required.  Be strong when you face good or bad and be gentle when someone needs it. We pray for your safety and for your heart to grow.  We pray for you to learn how to rely on God better and better, closer and closer. We pray your mistakes are lessons and your successes are opportunities to thank the God who made you.  And I pray you submit to God in all your ways, so you can see Him make your path straight! 

Love you Always and Always, No Matter What, Because You are You!

Judging the claims of others

We are told to look at teachings being shared in the church and to watch out for anything contrary to God’s Word, including those who misinterpret or take scripture out of context to build themselves up. We are to have nothing to do with them, but expose them.
Lately, I have been seriously considering what that should look like as I know of people (even relatives) who I have nothing to do with because of their dangerously unbiblical way of living, using scripture and acting. Yet we are told to expose them.
Philippians 1:28 says to not be intimidated in any way by your enemies and to live as citizens of heaven, fighting for the faith.
They will argue I am to “judge not lest you be judged”, but that is also taking scripture out of its context. This verse on judging in Matt 7:1 is Jesus speaking to the Pharisees about being hypocritical. They were holding others to a standard that they themselves did not uphold.
The verse below in Romans 16 clearly shows us there are times it is appropriate to inspect if someone is right or wrong...to judge someone else’s teaching.
There are also clues in Titus against repeating our conclusions against someone’s divisive behavior. We are told to warn them, and warn them again. Then be done with them and walk away.
We are to let everything we say and do represent Jesus. Jesus spoke with truth and grace. He spoke out of love, and in him we have the authority to correct believers when necessary. our words must be gently, showing humility to everyone.
So knowing when to approach and how to approach requires wisdom, which God gives to those who ask. He understands our weaknesses; and is our gracious God.

“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭16:17-18‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Fight for her

We are not responsible for the sin committed against us. But God has a plan to use it for good.

Gruesome, evil, ungodly acts are a result of living in a fallen world where people choose to not allow Jesus to sit on the throne of their hearts. Instead, people choose to rebel and make their own path. This affects both themselves and others in their contact. 

See the story in Judges 19-20

A man gave his concubine over to evil attackers to avoid being attacked himself. The concubine was beaten, raped and murdered. The husband showed his people what had happened. Everyone who saw it was saying to one another, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do something! So speak up!””

Judges 19:29-30 NIV

This lead to a 3 day war between 2 related Israelite groups. 

I love that someone stood up for  justice on the woman's behalf. The people knew the good they ought to do and went to work. They didn't sit on their hands. They didn't ignore it and they didn't claim it had nothing to do with them. They went to war to bring the criminals to justice. 

I have had people "go to the mat" for me. They entered battle against some of their own church brothers because they knew this girl needed support. 

In Judges chapter 20, the Israelites consulted God each day to confirm they should continue in the battle. Some lost their lives, but none lost their determination to do what's right. In the end of the chapter, the good guys won. God used the brave & willing. 

I am thankful for those brave people in my life who stood up for justice on my behalf because it was the right thing to do. They made sacrifices, giving up the comforts of peace and ignorance. They got involved in a battle that changed all our lives. And in the end, we were the winners!

Thank you to my husband and the many who were my support, you know who you are!

FOR MY BOYS

I thought this was worth sharing for moms of boys!

        FOR MY BOYS

I wanted to raise boys 

to become strong, confident, protective men who aren't 

afraid of hard work or doing 

new things so that when they feel lead, God will be able to 

use them to do great things 

         for His kingdom.

Sons, your experiences now 

are producing the ability to do 

mighty things! Your lessons are teaching you that with God, 

all things ARE possible, and 

let the trials remind you that 

God is there through it all to carry and guide you 

the right way! 

Becoming a man is a process. Becoming a Godly man is a choice you alone will need to make again and again and again. Following God's will means making the right choice, praying and working towards 

the right choice, and listening 

to Him when the choice is unclear. 

May God always be your first source of wisdom, comfort, and peace...never the last resort.

When in a Crisis

 Our response to crisis & God's power in it. 

A message from @drtonyevans https://t.co/TDOGfeOvrG

~you know you are in a crisis because it gives birth to fear and looms so large in your life. 

~never let your feelings sit in judgement over your faith. You must bring to bear what is true of God. 

~Look to the nature, Spirit, and Word of God regarding your situation. Your crisis may be different, but your God is NOT. 

~Your problem is not a new difficulty for God. He's been here before!

~ "God allows crisis so He can demonstrate He alone is God!" 

~Don't focus on the crisis but on God. See 2 Chronicles 20:12

~Prayer is drawing the power of heaven down on your crisis. 

~ God, [I] have no power to face this [crisis] that is attacking us. [I] don't know what to do, but [my] eyes are on you.” 

2 Chronicles 20:12

~Praise God in spite of your crisis and give thanks that this battle is not yours.

2 Chronicles 20:15&21

My Journey with CAFFEINE

37 Days and Counting! Caffeine- who needs it!
About 6 weeks ago I started this journey. First came the question, "Is reliance on caffeine (AKA: Caffeine Addiction) a problem for me?" I already knew it was. I was under the belief that I COULD NOT properly function in the mornings without caffeine. For years (starting around 10 years ago), I justified my addiction because my caffeine was "healthy". I am not a coffee drinker, do not like tea, dislike energy drinks even more. My caffeine was packaged in a tasty vitamin infused powder drink mix. It came from a company known for selling nutrition, weight-loss, energy and sports performance products. It tasted great. I craved it. It gave me noticeable energy, and even mental clarity. "This is a good thing" I convinced myself. The results seemed good. No wonder its called SPARK. My mornings started, without fail, with my caffeine/vitamin elixir. Don't ask me serious questions, don't make me recall where your belt is, don't ask my schedule, and certainly don't expect any tasks to be completed.....until I got my Spark Drink! It was a must. It was "necessary". I can't function without it. There's no way I will ever want to give it up.

Fast forward 5 or so years (and many, many dollars later). I'm older, I'm tired, my kids are older, my budget is tighter. I don't want to spend the bookoo bucks to get this stuff anymore....but I NEED IT! Why doesn't this spark seem to work so well anymore? Could it have lost its effectiveness? What would I do if I didn't have any left? Sure hope I don't ever get to that point. Oh well, gulp gulp....Ahhhh! Good morning!

Sometimes my weeks looked like this:

Monday: Monday's aren't that bad. Just drink a full spark. No big deal. Dear God, help me find time to add fitness to my schedule.

Tuesday: My spark tub is pretty light. Hmm? I better conserve and make smaller portions. I'd hate to run out, those are impossible days when that's happened. Wow am I thankful for this stuff, right! Dear God, I need to find a way to lose some weight. Can you help me with that?

Wednesday: Take just a half spark. Remember to order that later today. Pretty cloudy head today.....must need more spark. Dear God, I want to rely on you for my strength today. Help me see how to better do that.

Thursday: Oh, Blast! Forgot to order spark. Must do that now. Just have another half portion. I can get through another day like that...maybe two. But that's the limit. I need more spark. Dear God, can you show me ways I am not relying on You. I want to live each day to the fullest. Show me what I need to replace.

Friday: Drink the last little bit of spark I have left. Good thing I ordered more. I so regret I didn't get to exercise this week. Where does the time go? This weekend I will have more time. Hope the spark doesn't get delivered late. Dear God, I give you today. Thanks for showing me I could replace screen time with exercise. I will start doing that next week.

Saturday: No spark? No spark! What? I have to wait until Monday now. This weekend is the worst. I'm not doing a thing I don't absolutely have to do. Paperwork can wait, even most of the housework can wait. This is gonna be rough. Dear Go..Phone Rings. It's an old school friend. Always great to catch up. Remember in 10th grade when blah blah blah? That sure triggered memories. One teacher at our Christian school used to have a pot of coffee a day, and she told us so. Not so sure that was such a good thing....she was totally addicted. Huh? I'm not that bad....right?

Sunday: no spark. get ready for church. tired. Show up for church but left the fruit of the Spirit behind. Not my best morning. I am gonna need something...Why is this happening? Message at church was good! God gives believers all we need for victory. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Submitting all you are to God results in promises fulfilled and blessing. God has the power to cut sin out of your life. What sin should be cut from your life? If you rely on any power other than God, it is idolatry.

Fast forward another 2 years. March 2014. Dear God, Can you help me lose weight? I have sensed you drawing me closer to you. Show me what to do.
There was a moment of alertness during prayer time. How can I ask God for help, when I haven't really been relying on Him and His power to sustain me? I ask for help. After all, I remember the verse, "You have not because you ask not." So I ask. But I was so convicted that it was only words. I was not relying on God to empower me, but myself. Actually I relied on caffeine to "get me through" the day and any exercise I found time for. How can I rely on a substance but ask God to help sustain me? I CAN'T. Not anymore. That's what I need to replace. For daily strength (my daily bread) I was not relying on God. The caffeine has to go. This was my personal conviction based on my past choices and priorities. I decided at first to fast. Give up caffeine and replace it with quiet time with God. Seeking other ways He may not have all of me. Surrender. it. all.
The first couple days was as expected. Tired. Irritable. Craving. Day 4-5? Horrific. I was having withdrawal symptoms. Oh my word! I was so addicted to caffeine. Headaches like never before, extreme fatigue...I felt like I was getting the flu. Experiencing that was so convicting. It was consequence in my face. Add to that a radio message I heard about Christians shouldn't be going thru life just surviving. We should be THRIVING in our daily walk, despite our circumstances. Day 6-7 I confess I did backslide. I thought, well, "I will give up 'morning caffeine'. That just proves I am making progress, right? I noticed on the days that I would have caffeine (in the form of afternoon Pepsi) that I would wake up the next day even more tired. WHAT? I quickly realized my reliance on it was still wrong. I asked God to help me, this time truly relying on His strength. First week down. Woe!

Day by day, my mornings started to change. I woke feeling alert. Awake; not groggy. And I woke early! I was naturally feeling better without my caffeine. I didn't expect that! I was surprised. I thanked God for that gift and for spurring me to continue.
Today I am 37 days into this journey. I am 30 days without caffeine. It has gone quickly....something else I didn't expect. I know this is the step God wanted me to take, and the next step will be just as fulfilling.....If I rely on Him!

I would love to read any comments.
Make today count for eternity; live for One.

Not reporting abuse a common occurrence

     Hearing about abuse stories in the news recently promoted a deeper look. A common thread through many stories is authority figures not reporting on abuse they are told about. This can happen for many reasons, but it does not do the innocent any justice. The same can be said for those refusing to work with proper authorities. 

     When a victim's authority-- teachers, leaders, employees, or even parents, seek to cover up, dismiss, or ignore the abuse for any reason, they may become just as guilty as the abuser. Some would compare it to being an accomplice. Yet this happens all too often. Especially where cases of criminal abuse (involving authority figures) takes place within public organizations.
  

     Not only is it tragic when the abuse happens, but it is even more so when it is covered up, swept under the rug, minimized, mis-represented, even lied about by authorities in a position above the abusers. 
    

      Abuse making the news is nothing new, and it will never be something we take lightly; but the untold story is how it is handled by those involved &/or in charge, and how their mishandling of a terrible situation affects the victims even more so. 

     When the story goes untold, it's like turning victims away or dismissing the truth. Deeds done in darkness will remain there until reports shed light on the truth and expose the deeds.